And when she related her problems that whatever she does doesn't seem to be good enough , I just told her to actually be happy herself first, and then others will feel her happiness because only then, her giving will be 'full'... just like giving when the heart is full of joy!
Then just a few days later, I too was told by a friend to actually look into things for myself first ie. to care for my ownself. He related something similar to what I've told the acquintance.
The idea is not about being selfish, but when we care enough for ourselves, we will hence be happy within.. and these will lead to actions that will in turn make others around us happy as well because then when we give, we give unconditionally.